Thursday, March 27, 2014

Do You Recognize Ms. Self-Sufficient? She Is Not Ms. Independent

I need love dammit....


I need love
I need understanding
I need my heart massaged
Protect it from the storm

Stop hating me
Stop misconstruing my words
Stop stabbing my heart
Bring it into your shelter

Accept my love and let my heart's blood cover your spirit in its thunderous crimson glory. Open your mouth to receive my spirit on my expelled breath. Not just with your eyes but with your soul watch my essence cloak our physicals and stimulate our mentals.


Saturday, March 8, 2014

On The Rebound

I wonder if he knows I often sway like a pendulum needing retooling
I wish I could have heard his answer when someone asked about me 
Does he quietly slumber in her arms at night with no regard for the loss
While I toss and turn only to awaken in a cold sweat empty and lost
The days turned into years and at first life's distractions kept me calm
If I'm honest the distractions still didn't stop me from reaching for him
My temple's DNA inherited while my personality was an acquired taste
So though I ran from the memories of him I still hungered for his touch

What type of woman would I be if I'd had the benefit of his protection
My kids wouldn't physically change only the chain of a circle strengthened
Heartbroken I carry on hoping against hope for what will never be again
Feet shuffling forward but my fingers itch to turn back hands of our clock
No longer do we play sweet music or lick chocolate from the spoons
Each glance at a Miller still fills my space with nostalgic scented hops
I am strong when I'm weak, silent when I'm loud, alone in a crowd
A chameleon surviving in my environment a branded letter abreast

I'm older now living with my choices growing from lessons learned
I try to open my heart without fear the next man I love won't burn
I often stumble and fall praying I had him there to buffer the blow
Like two ships in the night with no light our star-boards politely brush
What did I do so wrong early on to deserve only the view of his back
If I asked him would I be strong enough to accept his tacit response
What would my daddy say to his baby girl all grown? His first born?

Dedicated to: My Father

Sunday, March 2, 2014

I CAN'T! I WON'T APOLOGIZE

I AM WHO I AM AND FOR THAT I MAKE NO APOLOGIES
I STRIVE TO BE BETTER THAN I WAS NOT BETTER THAN YOU
ON THIS EARTH WHERE I SHALL NOT BE JUDGED....I AM
FOR THE WIDTH OF MY HIPS OR THE MONEY IN MY HAND
I LIVE FROM WITHIN MY HEART BLOOD FLOWS EXTROVERTIVELY
FAKE IT 'TIL I MAKE IT IS LESS THAN HE CREATED ME TO BE
HEAD HELD HIGH BREATHING IN THE SPIRIT OF THE QUEENS
NEFERTITI, THE LADY OF ALL WOMEN, SWEET OF LOVE
THE EGYPTIAN ROCK OF THIS BLACK GIRL/WOMAN WHO ROARS
BEQUEATHED ONLY ONE LIFE TO ABOUND NEW HEIGHTS
BAMBOOZLED BY A BOY SHEATHED IN A HUSBAND'S PANTS
VERSIONS OF THE TRUTH BURIED BENEATH SIX FEET OF REGRET
IN GOD'S EXQUISITE CREATION OF LIGHT MY LOVE'S NOW ON FIRE
I STAND BEFORE ALL RADIANTLY HUMBLED BY MY MISTAKES
BATHED CLEAN, ANOINTED, AND SWADDLED IN HIS GRACE
A DIAMOND WITH CLARITY NO LONGER COVERED BY THE DIRT
OF HEARTBREAK THAT ONCE SUFFOCATED A LUNG COLLAPSED
UPGRADED
THOUGH FADED
I'VE MADE IT
LOOK EASY TO MY YOUNG CHARGES STUDYING MY LIFE
I SMILE THROUGH MY TEARS A CLYDESDALE IN FULL STRIDE
I AM WHO I AM NO LONGER WHO I USED TO BE
I MAKE NO APOLOGIES I CAN ONLY BE ME