I wonder if he knows I often sway like a pendulum needing retooling
I wish I could have heard his answer when someone asked about me
Does he quietly slumber in her arms at night with no regard for the loss
While I toss and turn only to awaken in a cold sweat empty and lost
The days turned into years and at first life's distractions kept me calm
If I'm honest the distractions still didn't stop me from reaching for him
My temple's DNA inherited while my personality was an acquired taste
So though I ran from the memories of him I still hungered for his touch
What type of woman would I be if I'd had the benefit of his protection
My kids wouldn't physically change only the chain of a circle strengthened
Heartbroken I carry on hoping against hope for what will never be again
Feet shuffling forward but my fingers itch to turn back hands of our clock
No longer do we play sweet music or lick chocolate from the spoons
Each glance at a Miller still fills my space with nostalgic scented hops
I am strong when I'm weak, silent when I'm loud, alone in a crowd
A chameleon surviving in my environment a branded letter abreast
I'm older now living with my choices growing from lessons learned
I try to open my heart without fear the next man I love won't burn
I often stumble and fall praying I had him there to buffer the blow
Like two ships in the night with no light our star-boards politely brush
What did I do so wrong early on to deserve only the view of his back
If I asked him would I be strong enough to accept his tacit response
What would my daddy say to his baby girl all grown? His first born?
Dedicated to: My Father
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